In the Beginning
Are you ready to spin a good origin tale?
Once upon a time, the earth was rich and full and it was filled with billions and billions of people. The people had evolved physically and intellectually for thousands and thousands of years. They were very ingenious and creative and invented all sorts of commodities and things to help them to live their lives and survive longer. They created a complex world full of buildings and skyscrapers and the most advanced technology. They began to travel to all the other parts of the world and trade with other countries for all the things their lands had and it became necessary to invent a way of trading for all these goods and so they created money. Money at first was gold and when people found gold, they loved it so much it became extremely valuable and people died digging up the ground for it because it was so shiny and precious and people could trade it for food and stock and grains. Because the gold was so valuable and precious, it ran out, so the people had to invent something else to trade with, so they started to trade with special paper. This worked even better, because the paper was not precious and they could just make more of it.
They worked tirelessly to earn paper which they used to trade for necessities such as food and homes but also for numerous luxuries. The paper became their absolute favourite thing in the world and some people enjoyed nothing more than collecting it and storing it in steel vaults. Because these people loved the paper so much, it became a big game to see who could collect the most paper and people went to extraordinary lengths to collect it, whatever it cost to anybody else. The people who loved it the most got so good at collecting it that in the end less than 100 people owned half of all the paper in the world and the rest had to be shared out between the other 7 billion people, some of which had none at all. The people with money however were so few that they could not possibly eat all of the food so there were piles and piles of food in the poor people’s countries that they might even have grown themselves but they could not eat because they did not have enough paper.
The 100 people who owned all the paper usually did not work, but invested their paper in things and other people so that they made sure that the other 7 billion people worked and kept making and buying the goods. The working people knew this and knew it was wrong, but they were not sure what they should do about it. They would go to prison is they stopped working and paying taxes and they had to put all of their paper in vaults or they could not buy anything because now all the paper went into the vault and they used one small card with a microchip that could tell a computer how much paper any one person had and they could use the card to pay for things in a shop which had another computer that would send the message to the computer at the vault.
The second favourite thing these people liked to do (particularly the 100 people who loved the paper) was to take things out of the ground which could be used that would run out, because if they would one day run out, people would pay so much more for them. Their second favourite thing was therefore oil, which was extracted from the ground and used to make cars and machines go. At first this was the only thing they could use to make the cars and machines go, but some scientists did look into what could be used instead that wouldn’t run out and they found lots of other ways to make the machines and the cars go. The people who loved the paper did not like this, because how could the prices on such things go up and up and up as they run out, they couldn’t very well put a tariff or a price on the sun or the wind.
As this oil ran out, the countries in the world where the 100 stayed went to war with other countries who were trying to keep their own oil so that they could play the paper game. They used a lot of their paper on these wars even though the people disliked them because many innocent people died in the wars and it hurt some of the soldiers so much to see these people die, they killed themselves.
The oil was burned to make the machines and the cars go and this had a terrible effect on the layer of air that protected the earth from the sun which would otherwise burn alive. Again some scientists investigated this and let the other people in the world know what they should do to stop the sun burning the earth alive, but no one believed them, because it had nothing to do with the paper and that was all that really mattered, particularly to the 100 paper people.
The oil ran out before all the machines could be made to work with the other energy sources and the lights went out. The sea boiled, the ice melted, the deserts burned and the islands flooded. All life on earth was wiped out and the earth produced such powerful toxins and gases that it created a big bang and tiny pieces of the earth ended up on other planets. On one of these planets the conditions were just right for the particles of energy to change and evolve into life and things started growing. At first it was just plants, but the more the matter evolved, the more intelligent it got and it grew fish, the fish then jumped out of the water and grew into land animals and after billions of years of intelligent evolution, the earth produced a species that could think and you will never guess what it chose to do with its existence.